Opinion: Even more passion in the polka?

PUBLISHED: 08:30 26 April 2020

Comedian Steve Allen wonders about a baby boom nine-months after lockdown.

Comedian Steve Allen wonders about a baby boom nine-months after lockdown.

Steve Allen

I know the situation is hard for a lot of us. I am still trying to use this column to bring you the more positive angles on our lives in a bid to help morale.

I had thought the lockdown would cause a reduction in the number of extramarital affairs. I’m no doctor but if you can’t get within two metres of someone it’s a lot harder to break your wedding vows with them.

I am, yet again, probably wrong.

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The TV show Strictly Come Dancing has come up with a plan to go ahead despite the lockdown. We did the same on The Mash Report that’s currently on TV. We film from our own homes. It’s strange to perform the show without a live audience but I couldn’t fit 400 people in my flat, so it’s for the best.

It means I don’t know what happens in the rest of the show until I watch it being broadcast on a Friday night. The other week, after the main show at 10pm, BBC Two scheduled a repeat of an episode from last year. How cruel of them to make it so easy to work out how much weight I have gained in lockdown.

Strictly Come Dancing will go ahead without a live audience too but they can’t film in their homes. The rumour is they plan to isolate the professional dancers with their celebrity partners for months.

It’s like they’re trying to make them have affairs. This is a TV show that has probably ended more relationships than The Jerry Kyle Show ever did. It was famous for the Strictly Curse when the couples only saw each other at work.

I’m sure it will still be a great series. It’s next year I worry about. All the dancers will be off on maternity leave.

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