The list of popular baby names has been released again. Oliver and Olivia have remained at the top, which shows how uncreative we are. I am more impressed that we have the list at all.

At the start of the lockdown many people predicted another baby boom. If we were all stuck at home, only so many episodes of Tiger King available, the assumption was we’d get up to all kinds of naughty fun. An increase in the birth rate was expected to be nine months down the line. It looks like we were wrong.

There hasn’t been a noticeable increase in pregnancies but I saw one news story saying the number of couples applying for a divorce was double what you’d expect.

Having more time together makes us notice what we can’t stand about someone.

People thought it would be like the baby boom of the mid-twentieth century but that was fuelled by men coming home from a war.

Their wives hadn’t seen them in ages and couldn’t keep their hands off them.

If they had seen their hubbies sitting around the house all day, with their unshaven faces sticking out of food-stained T-shirts, history may have been different. It’s also worth remembering that the post-war baby boom was before the pill was invented. Even if couples passed lockdown getting friendly, it wouldn’t always make babies.

Congratulations if you are having a post-lockdown baby. But when you get to the school gates in a few years, listen to how many parents call their children things like “Miracle,” “Longshot” or “Jesus,” because it must have been an immaculate conception.