Opinion: Survival guide for unusual heatwave

PUBLISHED: 08:30 04 August 2019

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen wants duvet togs recalibrated.

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen wants duvet togs recalibrated.


The news recently has either been about Boris Johnson, Jeremy Hunt or the weather. The one thing they have in common is that none of them are cool.

It's been a heck of a heatwave. There are many upsides to a period of hot weather. I can boost our mood, things look better and the people who try to use weather as an argument to prove climate change isn't real suddenly go quiet.

The downsides are painfully apparent as it can be impossible to feel comfortable all day, then you finally get to bed and somehow it feels even hotter.

Here's what I do when it's too hot at night. I sleep naked, on top of the covers, with a fan on me. So, if you are a fan of The Mash Report, email.

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As more extreme weather events are predicted due to climate change we may need to think about the way we're set up. In the UK our houses are designed to keep heat in. We are really rather good at dealing with cold spells in our homes, which is good, because if that cold spell brings with it snow we shut down the roads, rails and airports, so the only place we can be is home.

Mediterranean countries have houses that tend to be a pale, light yellow or pink colour. It helps to reflect the heat. Yes, we'll look like a nation of Battenberg cake from Google Earth but we'll be cooler.

We need to recalibrate the tog system for duvets. You can get 4.5, 10 or 13.5. As someone who gets annoyed of the petrol pump lands on any number that doesn't end in .00 the tog system bothers me.

We have to learn that you don't need socks with those sandals and we have invented deodorants so maybe use some. If we do that we can cope with these hot spells.

It will make us complain about the heat slightly less and then a few days later when the weather breaks we can go back to moaning that it's not warm enough again.

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