'I can't wait to buy useless items' when shops reopen after Covid lockdown
Steve Allen, comedian
- Credit: PA Images
As more of the news turns to stories about the reopening of the UK, I can feel my mood starting to lift. I know we have to tread carefully and remain sensible but when I hear that shops will be able to stay open to 10pm, I can’t wait to get stuck in.
I was used to the 24-hour supermarket and I used to complain when they shut at midnight on a Saturday night. I think I had them on a technicality; how can you call yourself 24-hour if there are any hours that you are shut for?
To suddenly lose all of that access to buying stuff I really didn’t need was a shock.
The opening hour extension isn’t just to let us shop for longer and buy more, there is a logical reason behind it. If we have more time to chose from, we won’t all crush into the shop at once, thereby increasing the risk of transmission. I should say for the record now, I might be in there many times a day buying goods that no one needs.
Scented candles. I know they are probably the most pointless item you can buy but I want them. I don’t know if someone thought “wouldn’t it be nice if this candle smelled like we were burning something,” or “wouldn’t it be nice if we could set fire to an air freshener”.
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Stationery. I love to buy items for my home office and during the pandemic I have been working from home a lot more. Did I get through more stationery? Of course not, everything is done on computers these days, yet still I crave dividers for folders.
There are so many useless items I can’t wait to buy. The only problem is that I also have lost most of my work, so I can’t afford them yet.
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