Queues and rows - same old Christmas

Steve Allen.

Steve Allen says we need a Grinch this Christmas - Credit: Steve Allen.

The news that pandemic restrictions will be eased for Christmas has been met with joy by many.
Sadly there are experts saying these freedoms will come at a price with worse infection rates expected.
This made me realise that we need a miserable Grinch who can put us off Christmas. Someone who can complain about the small stuff and convince people to stay at home by complaining. This could be what I have been training for all these years.
I thought I was becoming a grumpy old man before my time, but I was honing my misanthropic skills for when I was called upon.
Firstly, I cannot believe the government are letting us form support bubbles at Christmas but they didn’t call them “support baubles.” Sometimes I despair at our leadership.
With only three families allowed to join there will be some people left out. At least we know what tensions will be brought up at Christmas 2021.
The queues in the shops at Christmas can be a nightmare and normal shopping has been heavily queue-based in 2020.
Those effects will multiply, therefore if you want to take gifts you’d better join a queue now. 
If you sit out this Christmas, you’ll meet up with your various uncles and cousins after Brexit has been sorted and Trump has left the White House. 
There will still be some row at the end of 2021 but at least it won’t be the same old topics you’ve been rowing about for the last four Christmases.
If I still haven’t put you off the idea of visiting people this Christmas you must truly need to. 
So have a great time and remember to be safe.

  • Steve Allen is a comedian and broadcaster.

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