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Opinion: Sunday morning lie-in ruined by some fussy neighbour

PUBLISHED: 08:30 01 December 2019

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen does not like leaf-blowers.

Comedian and broadcaster Steve Allen does not like leaf-blowers.

Archant

As Autumn turns the trees to an oxidised red and the leaves drop to the ground like the end of Adam and Eve's date night, we all know what happens next. Our hopes of a Sunday morning lie-in are ruined by some fussy neighbour and their leaf blower.

It's even worse when your subconscious blends in the sounds it hears into your dreams and you wake up thinking you were falling into a massive Dyson Airblade.

There is good news because environmental experts are now calling for the noisy foliage movers to be banned.

I thought it was going to be about the noise levels as some units create 120dB of sound, which is as loud as a helicopter. A helicopter would also blow leaves, so maybe get one of those instead as it is more useful.

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That's not the angle that has upset the environmental types. A new study has found that using a leaf blower may hurt insects and fling animal poo around. I don't want to be heartless but I care less about the insects now I know there's a chance I'll get a mini dirty protest in my direction.

The double whammy is that because of the 120dB noise you have to shout more as you walk past it, which means opening your mouth more just as the muck starts heading away from the fan.

The advice is to use a rake instead. Rakes fling almost zero poop unless you're really trying and they don't make 120dB unless you stand on one.

The difference is that a rake collects more of the problem up for you to deal with responsibly whereas a leaf blower moves the problem so it's everyone else's and chucks some much around.

If you want to do that you can join Twitter instead.

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